Jesus God Almighty, April’s Been Destroyed! (& are any of my readers in the Portland area?)

I cannot believe this.  I mean, I know we had an Election and all, I’ve been out in the woods a lot, but I do check Soompi almost every day and HOW IN THE HELL CAN AN APOCALYPSE LIKE THIS NOT MAKE THE HOME PAGE?!?!?

I mean I swear K-pop webnews is so freakin’ worthless some major group could probably get lost at sea and I wouldn’t hear it for a month.

So here is the heartbreaking roundup:

hyunjoo-april-01-715x400

  1. Hyunjoo departed April on October 29th.  It’s been almost a month and I had no idea of this!  Yes, I had feared she wouldn’t come back after her breathing problems sidelined her shortly after “Tinkerbell” promotions began.  It is said she will now pursue an acting career.  If the breathing problems are her only real difficulty, I guess dancing on stage is out for her.  This makes me really sad though because truly I liked Hyunjoo a lot and thought she was one of the funniest idols in K-pop and I was so looking forward to enjoying her weird antics over the many years to come.  It’s much harder for me to get into and keep up with K-drama, but  I hope she makes it and does some awesome Hi School! Love On type epic that I can savor her presence in.  I’m sure she does have a considerable acting talent (everything she says and does seems to be calculated for its witty effect).  Hyunjoo, you truly will be missed!  Hwaiting!
  2. DSP is now frantically stuffing the April roster with new filling.  First, one of former member/Leader Somin’s fellow alumni from Puretty and Kara Project, Chaekyung.  Having to confess I never watched the infamous Kara Project program (stained as its history is in suicide as well as the usual DSPMedia mayhem, obviously still unfolding, I don’t know anything about her, except presumably she was in the bottom three of the show’s contestants, since Youngji, Somin, and the dead girl comprised the top row.  If Somin was still around I guess she’d have someone to talk to, or if part of the KARA members wanted to reform around Youngji– no wait, dangit, KARA IS NOT DEAD– well, anyway, so there’s Chaekyung, who I guess is probably talented and likeable and at least has some kind of backstory parallel history waiting in the DSP wings, but there’s also now:
  3. Some chick named “Rachel”, from Portland Oregon, about whom we know nothing!  WTF?!?!?
  4. How do I get out of this numbered paragraph thing?  So now, after the brilliant debut of “Dream Candy” (Best Video of 2015), the glorious debut Dreaming album, Somin’s sad departure, the return with funky “Muah!”, the charming “Snowman” MV, the many episodes of April On Airpril, their delightful Pops in Seoul Propeil episode, and the “Tinkerbell” comeback– all that lovely history they’ve made over the past year– it’s like April’s a different band now and has to reboot all over again.  The chemistry is shot, the memories they all made together are gone and jumbled.  Into the familiar and cozy atmosphere woven by Jinsol and Yena and Chaewon and Naeun we have these two newbies, or more precisely some thwarted girl who’s been kept behind glass as the “in case of accident” member (since obviously DSP didn’t want her for KARA, didn’t want to keep Puretty around, and didn’t want to debut her with April), and some unknown girl from America, which may or may not be about to become Great Again but that doesn’t mean our people need to go invading K-pop even if presumably she is pure Korean blood.  How awkward and embarrassing.  How dreadful to have to make introductions again.  How damaged must the group’s brand be!  “Oh hi, we keep shedding members so let’s scrape the barrel and fill out the roster again and start over from scratch, lalala.”  And all the while, no Hyunjoo!
  5. How very very sad.  Well, April, I will still be rooting for you– but it just won’t be the same.  You’ll be a different band now, and all those great moments we shared in the past will be–something else.  Maybe Ricky or e.one can cook up some amazing new single for you that will sweep me off my feet for the new lineup, and of course Chaewon, Naeun, Jinsol, and Yena are something to root for!  But oh my poor Hyunjoo . . .  and to think of this, this– Dani type joining the band!

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