Dr. Chuck Tingle, American Genius

Aspiring buckaroos everywhere, trying to halt the Devilman agenda and get HARD, it’s time to kiss the sky!

Why is Taylor Swift your only Twitter follow?

Taylor Swift is an up-and-coming artist that is gaining a lot of big time fans in the underground. My son is a very big fan and I like to support smaller artists with a lot of talent so I just like to see what she is up to. If you haven’t heard of her, go check out her new songs FEELS LIKE 21 and SONG OF THE LAKE.

What’s the allure of dinosaurs?

Well first things first, dinosaurs are very handsome that’s just a fact, goofball. We all know T-rex are bad boys with nice ways probably say “hey buddy wanna ride on this motorcycle maybe come kiss in a DANGEROUS way?” So when I was younger in HOME OF TRUTH UTAH, I wrote stories about dinosaurs made me feel kind of weird. But I hid them under the floor and they got burned up in the big fire. Then I went to billings and didn’t think about dinosaurs for a long time until my handsome son said to write (very cool, has such a COOL style like a movie star or TOMS HANK). Now its all good days as a big time author.

–Chuck Tingle makes me feel like a very small, very soft man.  Because he is getting so much done and he is proof that LOVE IS REAL.  I could’ve been–am supposed to be– writing the best books, not in the world, but around here, here in my little corner of one small thread of the Tingleverse, but time’s a wastin’.  Though I think I better understand now that TED COBBLER had something to do with how my last book failed to find a publisher.

My reverse twin, the one who watches fashion titties on tumblr, may have something to do with it too which gets us into the void:

the void is a very scary place and is what happens AROUND the layers of the tingleverse so imagine that you have a deck of cards with handsome men on them (some of them shirtless but in a normal way maybe rough housing in the grass maybe making a cake and frosting gets on their calves in a normal way) so then you have this deck of cards and each card is a layer of the tingleverse that shows ever version of reality starts with this one and then get HARDER between buds as it goes down. so this is all reality but then WHERE IS THE DECK OF HANDSOME MEN? its sitting int he void which is a lonely place that all reverse twins can get stuck in or sometimes the live there in cosmic horror. so best thing to do if you hear the calling of the void is to just put on some tunes that make you feel hard or maybe go out and talk to your buds at the coffee shop, or maybe you can talk to your handsome son and tell him how nice he looks and how hes been looking good after going to the gym a lot (just in a way that a proud dad would nothing weird) and then maybe you can drowned out the sound of the void.

–Listening to the sound of Dr. Tingle’s voice I feel like Winona Ryder in Coppola’s Stoker’s Dracula speaking of the sound of a voice that speaks to her and comforts her when she is alone.  Now, I know that maybe sounds like it makes me some kind of lady buck but keep in mind first of all that LOVE IS REAL and ladybucks can get HARD too.  But second, it means there is something so familiar in that voice, that indefatigable voice of industry and optimism, sounding out to us across the void, across the tingles, all the way from Billings and though so few seem to understand I feel like this man of science and literature is coming out for me and tingling me somehow deep inside my calves.  It is almost as if– as if– . . . .

I have met this stranger before . . . .  But be it someever may it may, we salute you, Chuck Tingle.  Chuck Tingle, we love you!

 

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